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Sir - So courteous but..
Monday, February 08, 2010
Posted by ASWANI
I don't know what to do. But yes, it comes out naturally. I've been told so many times by so many people that I don't need to say so. But then don't know why it happens again and again with me. Well, I believe everything has a reason and so there is a reason for this too. One of the things which I know is that there is no harm in this. But what is it am I talking about...????"Sir" Yes, have you ever used this word in your life? Do you think before using it or it comes out naturally? Please don't call me sir..has anyone got back to you in this fashion? Well, I've been through the same situation often and again. In spite of being reminded repetitively that I should keep away from such habit, I keep on doing the same thing again and again. Strange but true !
Now, how did it all happen and why has it been so difficult for me to get away from this? This all goes to my schooldays though the major effect was seen in my college days. Basically, it is so common here in India to use such words while communicating. I think it is deep rooted in our culture where we are supposed to respect our elders and never use their names while addressing them. It all begins in the school, where we are told to call our teachers as Sir and Madams. Not at all bad. But then old habits die hard. What we learn from our school days, we carry on the same thing to our college too and then from there to everywhere else and then it stops somewhere along the route which again depends upon various circumstances that we are faced with though some still resist to change and I am one of them...
As I said, it is very natural for me. For me..Sir is not just a word or a formality. It has got a much deeper meaning than what we often think to be. Any person whom I see as a senior to me either in terms of age or experience, I am bound to call him as a "Sir" Sir for the male person and Madam for the females..that is how it all goes. Interestingly, I rarely use "Madam" for females. Only at few occasions, I try to be so respectful to females ;) To be very honest, I feel very shy to call someone by his name mostly when it is known that the person whom I have to address is much more senior to me. To me, Sir is a very courteous, a great word of respect. No other word can match with it when it comes to showing respect to anyone and I think we shouldn't be thinking too much on it. I've seen people hesitating to use the same though we should be using it more often especially when we are communicating with our seniors or alike. I know most of you won't agree with me. But that is how I think...
Unlike India, I haven't seen the same happening in the west. The word "Sir" doesn't seem to be so popular there. But this is again contrary to a very interesting fact that you should know. According to Wikipedia, Sir is an honorific used as a title or as a courtesy title to address a man without using his given or family name in most English speaking cultures. Sir derives from the Middle French honorific title sire (messire gave 'mylord'), from the Old French sieur (itself a contraction of Seigneur meaning 'lord'), from the Latin adjective senior (elder), which yielded titles of respect in many European languages.
So, again these things comes from the English culture..I must say from the west. But why then its not so popular there? Why people in the west generally prefer to be called by their names? Why is that we are much more accustomed to use this word? Should we also start imitating from the west...I mean should we stop using this word ? To be very honest, what I have observed till now is that there is no such culture or "Sir" being used in companies or Organizations where I've worked till now especially in MNCs. But still then, I haven't been able to change myself. I am highly resistant to change especially for this thing - Sir !
Now, Is it really a problem for me? If yes then what should I do now? Do you have any suggestion or advice for me ? Please share...
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This entry was posted on October 4, 2009 at 12:14 pm, and is filed under
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February 10, 2010 12:01 AM
Ok no advice for you here Aswani :) But I would like to share that I too quite frequentlty use "sir" for gentlemen and "madam" for women. I dont discriminate though :-P !!! And I have no guilt feeling for using this word. In fact many times I do not even look at the age of the person, just take the ocassion into consideration :). But on the other hand I am also comfortable calling people by names (of course whn I know them). e
February 10, 2010 1:28 AM
Aswani i believe that we have grown up with the values of respecting elders. But these days the word " Sir " is rarely used especially in corporate world...... as people prefer to be called by their first names and its really cool.
February 10, 2010 8:05 AM
Thanks for your views. Yeah, I believe there is no harm in calling someone as 'Sir" :)
February 10, 2010 8:09 AM
Very right ..Shabnam. That is what I've been seeing here. The word "Sir" definitely has no place in corporates today. I am also trying to get into this habit and hopefully..I will be able to..very soon :)
February 10, 2010 10:08 AM
Sir Aswani, we Asians are courteous. It's ingrained in our upbringing. I see the value, however, of dispensing with polite forms of address. The tone of our writing, the choice of words we use these reflect too our respectful nature on one hand and if we so choose, hostile intent on the other.
I'm not an expert on Western culture. But I guess our Western counterparts prefer to do away with these stiff salutary address because these smack of barriers and classes.
I'm uncomfortable being called sir. It calls too much attention to the fact I['m getting on in years. Ahehehe. Some facts are just hard to accept without going through the initial denial stage, eh? LOL
You're all right using sir, Aswani. Just be mindful of the times when you're tempted to be sarcastic and sticking Sir at the end of your writing. Like I sometimes do. Why? Because you're much more genial and open-minded than I am.
Being polite is still cool, my friend. 8-)
February 10, 2010 10:56 AM
That was so nice of you..bro! I completely agree to one thing you have said here that the western counterparts prefer to do away with these stiff salutary address because these smack of barriers and classes. And this looks really good..in the end :)
February 10, 2010 3:41 PM
hello Sir, ow, did i feel something by saying that, i believe this is just an old english form of courtesy, left overs from the previous era. I asked some of my english friends about it and they replied me that there's no need to call them sir (not that i wanted to), they said that these are just the old ways of greeting the elders/seniors esp but then again my said english friends have been around just too long in Asia and they may forgotten about the old ways. But to some people addressing others starting with the word sir may be viewed as being subservient. My support staff used to address me as such in the office back then and i just accepted it as a form of respect of the authority & seniority rather than anything and for some measure it kind of give the feeling of some degree of importance. I guess nowadays the younger generation can't be bothered with all these any more as they believe in going on a first name basis. And i think it's still ok to address people as sir so long as that person is more senior in position and age, kind of respect.
February 10, 2010 4:21 PM
Thanks bro for your views..Yes, I too see no harm with it :)
February 10, 2010 7:44 PM
Interesting and thought provoking. I wish there were more courtesy in the world, but REAL courtesy - not just formal courtesy. I think the declining popularity of the words "Sir" and "Madam" (or "Ma'am") are a result of the connotations picked up from the way store clerks' and telemarketers' use the word. They don't care who you are (it's not indicative of respect - they simply haven't anything better to call you by) and they aren't behaving with real courtesy - they desperately want to SELL you something, not HELP you with anything. It seems presumptuous, and as Jan points out, indicative of advancing age.
When a young person says "Yes, ma'am," or "yes, sir" it is polite, and I appreciate it, even if it's more ingrained habit than anything else - at least it shows they're aware of it as a form of respect. But when they begin to overuse it, simply because they don't KNOW your name, it's meaningless and almost offensive. (I particularly love calling tech support or getting random survey calls, only to have them address me as "Sir." Sorry, that's "Ma'am" to you. They don't even know my gender - and obviously couldn't be bothered to ask, first. Presumptuous.)
February 10, 2010 9:02 PM
It's not too common to use 'sir' here, we are used to address people with 'Mister' instead. :-) I thought 'sir' only happens a lot in England but good to know. I don't like being called 'madam' either, it's un-natural to me. lol.. I'm not that 'classy' yet. Jan has a good point -- but still it's good to be polite. Spot on!
@wchingya
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February 10, 2010 9:21 PM
Hi Holly, so glad to see you here. Many thanks for your precious input. You are very right in saying that such words have become less valuable today. People are just using it for formality rather being really respectful to that level :(
February 10, 2010 9:24 PM
Hi Ching..glad to see you here. Yes, words such as "Sir" are more common in England..I believe so. Thank you so much for your kind words :)
February 11, 2010 12:21 AM
Dear Aswani, excellent post, why don't you think in a different way, Such " sir/Madam" will defenitely show the refelction of the caller's mind, i thnk its better to take it as positive as possible...thank you for this great post
February 11, 2010 12:31 AM
Dear Aswani, sometimes, habit makes a man behave like this, you know in England, we cant make a minute without hearing this. Other places, may be they have their own styles, all that matters is just being polite and friendsly..thats all http://fengshuischool.blogspot.com/2010/02/fengshui-money-tips.html
February 11, 2010 7:51 AM
Thanks Reetha for supporting me :)
February 11, 2010 7:53 AM
Thanks for your views. Yes..being polite..it only matters ;)
February 11, 2010 11:59 AM
I still believe in respect the word sir is quite common in most cultures but for the west lots of these values are ignored i think because of the fact that they are trying to forget slavery on i think this was a title given to slave masters. great post bro keep it up this is a very interesting post that would make a great debate
February 11, 2010 12:41 PM
Thanks bro..Yeah, it seems to be true to me too. Hope you are well. have a nice day :)
February 12, 2010 10:16 AM
Hello there bro. How are you Sir. Actually, the use of the "Sir" word can also be considered a sign of respect and one that I often use, specially if I do not know the person I am talking or dealing with. I have to admit that it also comes out naturally and I do not a problem saying it. In Portuguese, the direct translation of Sir is used more for the elders and so it also comes out naturally. I would not change it Aswani, unless the person that you have approached with the "Sir" word says for you not to use it, respectfully that is.
February 12, 2010 11:29 AM
Aha bro..seeing you here on this blog after so long...glad you still remember me ;)
Yes, we are very like-minded..many thanks for your nice comment:-D
February 12, 2010 6:31 PM
Hi Aswani? Good work, the word 'sir actually sounds bossy but it all depends with the recipient, could be they like it and if you dont use it they feel offended....
February 12, 2010 7:45 PM
Thanks Paul..hope you are well. Have a nice weekend ahead :)